After his misguided attempts at the presidency
in 2006 (and there wasn't even an election that year!??!), Skooter Pie
has hired the big paws in Washington to help him win the election this
fall. The platform includes the following issues on everyone's
minds the past few months:
The price of cat litter! Costs have
skyrocketed where many cats do not have a place to go! They are
forced into using gravel, shredded newspapers, and corn flakes for their
relief!
Rebates to all cats who are strictly American!
Due to the situation with too many illegal kitties, no Himalayans,
Siamese or Norwegians are allowed to accept graft (oops, I mean
rebates). Hopefully these rebates will help those who are
delittered (see above statement)
Unique clothing and accessories for all
voters. So people can endorse their favorite candidate (or should
I say cat-adate?) With the assistance of Donna Karan, we are developing
the following:
- Cat cologne - essences of catnip, jasmine, and a hint of ammonia
- Jogging shoes - exquisite fur tips at the toes keep feet warm in
winter
- Skooter Pie belt buckles. They have the likeness of the logo at
top of page
- Wallets - they automatically deduct 23% of your cash and send it to
me!
- Lingerie to be sold at Victoria's Secret...need I say
anymore...provocative!
The No Cat Left Behind Act - this means
special day care for all kitties of all sizes and all breeds! It's
a shame what is happening to the alley cats in Topeka.
Celebrity endorsements....I really don't care
who Oprah or Brad or Barbra or Opie endorses for president. A
special task force headed by the PCP (Pussy Cat Posse) is narrowing down
the choices. We expect to announce that Burt Reynolds can
renegotiate his dinner theatre contract in Newark so that he can make
appearances at bowling alleys, fish fries, and taffy pulls throughout
America.
In the meantime, please check out
Daisy's website!
